Suffering Flickr-CC-Hani AmirMany of us go through life carrying a grudge, anger, hurt, or disappointment about things that happened during our childhood or at some point in our adult lives. They are equally painful and can often remain buried in our heart, possibly the cause of disease, for years. As much as we would like to forgive, we sometimes can’t conceive of forgiveness because we think it means condoning the wrong that we believe was done to us.

About four years ago while immersed in study, I learned a different method of forgiveness–a method I refer to as “energetic forgiveness.” It was an amazing concept to me and helped me unload a long-held resentment I held for my father, who left our family when I was a mere 11 years old. I welcomed the open-minded viewpoint and accepting principles that surround this very powerful concept.  It was liberating.

I decided to write this article to help as many people as possible learn to release their long-standing negative emotions through the use of energetic forgiveness. It has a very different definition that once known and understood is significantly more liberating and powerful than the more traditional definition. If you have only been exposed to the traditional understanding of religious forgiveness, read on. See if you think you resonate more closely with the energetic version or the traditional. Keep in mind it’s not a matter of right or wrong but more appropriately a matter of choice.

Energetic forgiveness is simple yet unbelievably powerful.  What it means is this.  When you forgive someone based on this Universal or spiritual concept, you are not at all condoning or accepting the behavior or whatever wrong was done to you. You are not expected to believe what happened was okay. You don’t have to have contact with the person to forgive them because you’re forgiving through yourself and your God, Spirit, Source, or whatever you choose to call this higher power.

What you’re doing when you forgive energetically is release all of the negative energy you carry for the person you hold responsible so that you can recover your positive energy, feel whole again, and finally move forward to a more peaceful and happy life. In other words, you no longer have that negative burden to carry. It loses its importance, and your heart heals. 

old-men-embraceWith this understanding, you also release any other ill feelings that have resulted from carrying this burden for so long. It’s a breath of fresh air, a new life, a clean slate, a sigh of unbelievable relief.  It opens doors for you to step into a higher perspective that will allow you to grow, love life, and be who you really are. You are no longer inhibited by long-term negative emotions. This is a truth principle that just can’t be ignored.

These are the simple truths of energetic forgiveness. With this information, you may decide to learn more about it, put it into practice if you resonate with it, and ultimately find that peace that has eluded you for so many years.  I’d say it’s well worth a try, but again, neither this concept of forgiveness nor the more traditional is intended to be held out as right or wrong for anyone or everyone. It is more appropriately set out as a matter of choice, which is yours for the making.

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Peggy Nelson is a professional Intuitive Life Change Coach, founder of Life Your Way Coaching, and author of The Intuitive Guide to Extraordinary Success in Life and Business: 365 Tips to Get Unstuck and Get What You Want. She holds two coaching credentials — as a certified Law of Attraction Coach and a certified Professional Life Coach. To schedule a free 15-minute consultation with Peggy or to download her free report, “The Top 7 Musts For Getting Unstuck and Living Your Best Life,” go to


  1. Great article- thank you to the author for writing it and to Geri for posting it:) Also, I *love* the video from the Children’s Hospital. So uplifting with all the negative stuff on the news lately. Please keep everyone from both positive and awful news stories in your thoughts and prayers. Have a wonderful and safe weekend and God bless you all- GOD IS GREAT AND COMPASSIONATE!!!:)

  2. (1 of 3) This IS “traditional” forgiveness, it is truth as well. Forgiveness is a choice that you make, usually for yourself. I discovered (more accurately, it was revealed to me in prayer and observation, then in practice) that people in general fall into three categories when it comes to the hurt that requires forgiveness – 1.) those that are TRYING to hurt another; 2.) those that hurt another in the pursuit of their own goals and don’t care, or deny responsibility; 3.) and those that hurt another and are sorry for it, but don’t know how, or can’t make amends. The wonderful thing about forgiveness is that it doesn’t matter which is the cause, your choice will cover them all!
    In my case, I was dealing with the first two: a (2) brother, 12 years older than me, that hit me as a kid/teen, and an (1) ex-boyfriend who was verbally abusive when drunk. I hated them both, and was praying for a way, or understanding that freed me from this hurt and waste of energy, … continued…

  3. (2 of 3) because I understood that I was using my own energy to continue hurting myself. In all scenarios, the people you hate can not feel the pain that you do. In case 1.), your hate (or hurt, it comes to the same) feeds something in them. It may be the only reaction to them that they understand. Whatever it is, taking it away is great for you, and it utterly breaks the downward spiral they have created for themselves. They learn to stay away from you because you are no longer ‘playing the game’. Just don’t keep coming back to ‘show’ your forgiveness. If you truly forgive, their reaction won’t matter, because you are no longer keeping score. In case 2.), continuing to feel any negativity toward them is completely useless. They never saw what they did as their responsibility in the first place. It’s like hitting yourself with a hammer in front of someone with amnesia, they will wonder what you are doing it for, but will never equate it with their own actions …continued…

  4. (3 of 3) If you can get your mind and heart around this, it WILL set you free. Anyone who believes in God has to go through this to grow in understanding. If you want forgiveness for yourself, you can use this as a motivation, and see unforgiveness as the waste of energy it really is. This is a revelation, and I hope and pray that it cuts away a lot of the hurt that people feel. If someone hurts you badly, that is enough – too much – hurt. Don’t let them hurt you more, let it go.
    Lastly, if someone is truly sorry for a hurt they have caused (3), you can help them to give that wish to make amends direction, if you forgive them first. No one can change the past, but they don’t have to be stuck in it. If you really forgive someone, you will be able to give a person reasonable goals to achieve to make amends – achievable tasks that show you, and them, that they mean it. Whatever the issue, no human can erase a hurt from your heart but you, and you can’t truly move on until you do.

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