The Lesson: It occurred to psychologist Guy Winch that when it comes to a physical injury– like a cut or a cold or a broken bone –we know exactly what to do. We know the difference between something that we can treat, or something a doctor needs to treat. We’re so sophisticated in how we go about it, but, when it comes to these psychological injuries we are literally in ignorance, we are unaware of how and when we are injured and what we can do about it—and especially what happens if we don’t treat or manage them. So he went into the current research studies, and translated the findings into language that can benefit the average person.
What to do about low self-esteem? Winch says positive affirmations will not help unless you really believe them about yourself. If you use generic affirmations, they could actually make things worse because you don’t believe they are true. (‘You are gorgeous and attracting love,’ for instance, would make you beat yourself up if you don’t believe it.) Instead, make a list of your good qualities that you know to be true: I’m supportive, a good listener, a calming influence or joyful presence.
Notable Excerpt: “Feelings of rejection are extremely common, (yet) we have this stoic idea about feelings—that we should not have them. The most impressive finding of the many research studies done on rejection, and why it hurts so much, was done using MRI machines and people who just experienced emotional break-ups in their relationships. The same areas of the brain get activated when we experience rejection as get activated when we experience physical pain. Literally the same areas—and there’s no other emotion in which that happens. The term ‘hurt feelings’ is the same in almost any language around the globe, because it really, really hurts.”
The Guest: Dr. Guy Winch is a licensed psychologist, speaker, the author of “Emotional First Aid”, a definitive guide to healing from emotional injury.
The Host: After spending years of his young life and athletic career struggling with his own emotional wellbeing, a crippling injury left Lewis Howes without an identity and without any work. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, however, Howes recreated himself as a multi-million dollar media producer, motivational speaker, bestselling author, and podcast host. The ex-football player now spends his days chatting with the most inspirational icons of this generation on his School of Greatness podcast.
Books: Howes is the author of the New York Times bestselling book “The School of Greatness”: an in-depth collection of lessons and wisdom that he has gathered from interviewing hundreds of the world’s greatest role models and thinkers. Howes’s latest book, “The Mask of Masculinity”, is based on his experience with the dangerous stereotypes and expectations that are placed on men in modern society.
(LISTEN to the inspiring talk below) – Photo by Vic Xia, CC
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