It has been four years since Sophie Tanner got married to herself.
For the ceremony, the 40-year-old woman wore a vintage gown with a bouquet of sunflowers as she stood before her friends and family and promised to love, honor and obey herself.
Now as she celebrates her fourth wedding anniversary, Tanner is celebrating the commitment she made to herself by writing a book about living and loving herself.
Tanner, who is a self-love advocate from Brighton, said: “Obviously it was tongue-in-cheek, but when I said my vows promising to love myself, it really was quite powerful and everybody said they had goosebumps.
“My friends and family were all on board and it wasn’t a massive surprise.”
Tanner says that she was inspired to tie the knot with herself after a string of failed relationships made her realize that she did not need another person to feel happy.
“When I turned 30 … I had been through quite a bad break up,” Tanner recalled. “I had been cheated on for the third time and it really knocked me more than other break ups.
“I am usually a very happy and confident person but I could not help blaming myself thinking I was not enough.
“I spent a few months which were the worst I ever had spiraling down with my mental health. Then I woke up in bed one morning and had a massive sense of relief where I could feel my optimism returning.
“I realized I am not the loser in this … I actually love my life and I love myself and I felt very grateful.
“Romantic love is so talked about, but nobody really talks about that love of yourself,” she added. “When you are single, there is this unspoken sympathy and idea of ‘don’t worry, someone is just around the corner.’
“But I was happy by myself and I had this idea of this self-marriage.”
When Tanner wrote to Brighton and Hove council, however, they refused to make her marriage legally binding because it was not a union of two people, to the exclusion of anybody else.
On top of that, her agent turned down her idea for a new book in which a woman got married to herself because she did not think there was a market for the concept.
“She said it does not fit the rom-com element and I laughed and said that is kind of the point,” says Tanner.
Despite several set backs, Sophie arranged her own illegal ceremony in May 2015 to celebrate her sologamy.
Four years on, she is set to launch her new self-love novel titled “Reader, I Married Me” on May 18th, which marks her fourth wedding anniversary to herself when she will also be renewing her vows.
“Four years ago, I was taking my vows to embrace my dreams and one of my biggest dreams to write a book has now come true. So this will be a chance for my friends and family to join me and celebrate.
“It was amazing to write the book. After the ceremony, it all went a bit bonkers and everyone was quite intrigued the more people started to talk about it,” Tanner added. “It has been such a long and convoluted journey and getting it all down on paper and having my chance to explain what I have done is great.”
While Sophie has dated other people since marrying herself in 2015, she says that she is still happy being single and will only enter into a relationship with somebody who completes her life.
“I am a romantic and I am open to finding love but I am also really happy as I am,” says Tanner. “I love romance films as much as anyone but self-love should be as important so we are not putting all our eggs into one basket of finding the one.
“Because I have made these vows to myself, I would only really go with someone who really completed my life. If a guy gets scared of it, then they don’t get me so it is quite a good filter. If they get it, they get me and that’s wicked.”
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