You can make yourself happier — and it doesn’t have to be a long-term ambition. You can start right now. In the next hour, check off as many of the following items as possible. Each of these accomplishments will lift your mood, as will the mere fact that you’ve tackled and achieved some concrete goals. The first one is to boost your energy, which can be an easy, quick transformation…

1. Boost your energy: stand up and pace while you talk on the phone or, even better, take a brisk ten-minute walk outside. Research shows that when people move faster, their metabolism speeds up, and the activity and sunlight are good for your focus, your mood, and the retention of information. Plus, because of “emotional contagion,” if you act energetic, you’ll help the people around you feel energetic too.

2. Reach out to friends: make a lunch date or send an email to a friend you haven’t seen in a while. Having warm, close bonds with other people is one of the keys to happiness, so take the time to stay in touch. Somewhat surprisingly, it turns out that socializing boosts the moods not only of extroverts, but also of introverts.

3. Rid yourself of a nagging task: answer a difficult e-mail, purchase something you need, or call to make that dentist’s appointment. Crossing an irksome chore off your to-do list will give you a big rush of energy and cheer, and you’ll be surprised that you procrastinated for so long.

4. Create a calmer environment: clear some physical and mental space around your desk by sorting papers, pitching junk, stowing supplies, sending out quick responses, filing, or even just making your piles neater. A large stack of little tasks can feel overwhelming, but often just a few minutes of work can make a sizeable dent. Try to get in the habit of using the “one minute rule” — i.e., never postpone any task that can be completed in less than one minute. An uncluttered environment will contribute to a more serene mood.

5. Lay the groundwork for some future fun: order a book you’ve been wanting to read (not something you think you should read) or plan a weekend excursion to a museum, hiking trail, sporting event, gardening store, movie theater — whatever sounds like fun. Studies show that having fun on a regular basis is a pillar of happiness, and anticipation is an important part of that pleasure. Try to involve friends or family, as well; people enjoy almost all activities more when they’re with other people than when they’re alone.

6. Do a good deed: make an e-mail introduction of two people who could help each other, or set up a blind date, or shoot someone a piece of useful information or gratifying praise. Do good, feel good — this really works. Also, although we often believe that we act because of the way we feel, in fact, we often feel because of the way we act. When you act in a friendly way, you’ll strengthen your feelings of friendliness for other people.

7. Act happy: put a smile on your face right now, and keep smiling. Research shows that even an artificially induced smile has a positive influence on your emotions — turns out that just going through the motion of happiness brightens your mood. And if you’re smiling, other people will perceive you as being friendlier and more approachable.

Some people worry that wanting to be happier is a selfish goal. To the contrary. Studies show that happier people are more sociable, likeable, healthy, and productive — and they’re more inclined to help other people. So in working to boost your own happiness, you’re benefiting others as well.

Gretchen Rubin is writing The Happiness Project, an account of the year she spent test-driving the current scientific studies and wisdom of the ages about how to be happy. On her popular blog, The Happiness Project, she recounts her day-to-day adventures as she strives to be happier.

TEL AVIV — Some friendships are cemented by unspeakable pain. That’s what binds members of the Parents Circle Families Forum, a group of Israelis and Palestinians who’ve lost close family members and who’re committed to going beyond the grief to a better future.  Recently, more than 100 Forum members spent a day at Israel’s national Holocaust museum, and a day in the empty expanse of a Palestinian village, in what is now Israel, that was destroyed by Israeli forces in 1948…

This two-day experience is the first step in a process they call “Knowing is the Beginning.”

In their decade of advocacy for reconciliation between Israelis and Palestinians (often against harsh critics in both communities), Forum members shied away from jointly confronting their respective national traumas. They feared losing the trust they’ve developed because, unlike the bridge-building capacity of shared personal grief, talking about national wounds and narratives often creates distance and alienation.

Now, they’re breaking the taboo and opening up questions about core national traumas

For example, to Israelis, and Jews in general, nothing is more odious than the claim that the Holocaust is exaggerated or the comparison of Israel’s occupation practices to Nazi actions against Jews. And, yet, that’s what some Palestinians believe — or, at least, say.

For Palestinians, nothing triggers a more visceral reaction than to hear Israelis’ denial of what Palestinians refer to as the Nakba (catastrophe), in which hundreds of villages were destroyed and their residents rendered refugees during Israel’s 1948 War of Independence. And yet, Israelis minimize such claims, arguing that Palestinians distort the facts. Most Israelis and Palestinians feel that facing the other side’s pain betrays and dilutes the legitimacy of their own claim to statehood in a disputed area. They retreat into defensiveness and shut down the conversation in what becomes a zero-sum battle over victimhood — with room for only one winning narrative.

That’s what the Forum members are trying to change. Their premise is that facing and feeling the other’s pain — without judging or comparing it to one’s own — is a necessary step to building a future together rather than continuing the pattern of a destructive past.

They acknowledge the risks involved. First-hand exposure to the “other” narrative pierces the comfort zone and protective armor of denial and prejudice, but doesn’t promise understanding. So far, the Forum’s experience demonstrates that sharing personal grief is a powerful step toward reconciliation, but now they’re testing if their experience of facing national trauma together can build an even bigger bridge. And if anyone has the chance to break down such barriers, it’s individuals and families who’ve paid the ultimate price and sacrificed the most.

Encouraged By Early Reactions

The idea for this latest experiment first surfaced when a Palestinian member of the group wanted to see for himself whether the Holocaust actually happened. Other Palestinians balked, while Israelis hesitated to confront Palestinians’ attachment to disappeared villages.

But after the visits, when Yaacov Guterman — himself a Holocaust survivor and bereaved parent — acknowledged the tragedy of Ekbeba but said: “I was in that Hell [the Holocaust] and this isn’t the same.” His words were greeted with quiet respect by Israelis and Palestinians alike.

In a world where Holocaust denial is still propagated, the capacity of Israelis and Palestinians scarred by war and loss to unflinchingly face truth together is laudable. The power of the Parents Circle Families Forum has always exceeded its numbers. If it can harness national narratives in the cause of mutual understanding, that’s a cause for hope in this part of the world.

Distributed by the Common Ground News Service (CGNews)
Originally published in The Globe and Mail, 17 March 2007 – Reprinted with permission