Maintaining happy, healthy relationships in your life, whether they’re family, romantic or friendly, has a significant impact on your overall happiness and ability to thrive. Solid, meaningful relationships are important in your adult life. All good relationships require mutual respect and understanding but sometimes we have to hit the pause button to evaluate the people closest to us and determine if these people are nurturing and positive or if they’re only bringing us down. If you’re questioning the relationships in your life and wondering if you’re attracting the right kind of people, we’ve got a few tips to steer you in the right direction.

How to Attract the Right Kind of People to Your Life:

Before you set out to find a new romance or friendship, know what you’re looking for in a person. Think about the kind of person you want to bring into your life. Take stock of your own principles and values and evaluate others based on this list and make sure there is significant overlap.

Be true to yourself. Do you let people know the real and authentic you? If you’re projecting someone you’re not, you may be attracting the wrong people.

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Know where to look for the kind of people you want to have in your life. Good people are out there and you can play a part in finding them. Studies show that spending time with people that are like-minded and have the same goals as you puts you in the right environment to meet the right people. Think about your hobbies and your interests and join groups and clubs that match up.

Be open to new people and situations but trust your instincts. You never know where a new relationship might be found whether it’s a new business connection, a potential romance or a new friendship. When you open yourself up to new opportunities you give the right people the chance to meet you, but trust your instincts and verify that new people entering your life actually share your values.

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Get in touch with good people you already know. Have you lost touch with people you really like—a cousin,  old classmate, friend from college or previous co-worker? Now is the time to make a list of those people who you’d like to reconnect with and reach out to them. Not sure how to find them? Use a source like BeenVerified to help locate them.

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It may sound cliché, but be the person you’d like to have in your life. Be friendly, generous and kind. You’ll be surprised what comes back to you.

Tips for Eliminating People From Your Life:

Recognize the signs of a bad relationship. Look at how this person fits into your life. Do they drain your energy, criticize you, play a victim, have a negative mindset, exhibit dishonestly or lack of compassion? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it might be time to reassess your relationship. Is there true value?

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Set your own boundaries and don’t be apologetic. For your own health and sanity, it’s okay to say no or tell someone they’ve pushed you too far or asked for too much.

If you know it is time to cut the cord—be bold, direct and firm. Unless you want them to hang around and play the victim, don’t fall into the trap.

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If you’ve decided you can no longer sustain the relationship or you find out information that makes you need to discontinue the relationship, it’s fine to say “I can’t see you anymore.” As humans we need relationships but we do not need every relationship. Be strong and remember you’re doing this for your own good.

Justin Lavelle is the Communications Director for Been Verified, an affordable website that helps people locate relatives and friends they’ve lost touch with, or check the backgrounds of those they are dating and others interacting with their family, through the use of public data. –Photo by Mojo, CC

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